


Sunflowers

by twoheartsx



Category: Code Geass
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Sunflowers, for suzalulu week, short fic, sorry its late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 05:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartsx/pseuds/twoheartsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A julius and suzaku fic based on when they were in the cell together in episode 4 of akito the exiled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunflowers

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is short. I finished this awhile back but never got around to posting it. I hope you guys enjoy.

The cell was dark, it was dark and lonely. He wasn't sure how long he had been in here, but he knew it was too long. His head was pounding and he couldn't tell real from fiction anymore. Suzkau, Nunnally. Those names meant two things and both seemed to blur. A sister, nothing. A best friend, a knight to guard. Those two meanings mixed and he wasn't sure which were true and what was a delusion implanted in him. He didn't even know who he was anymore. Julius Kingsley, Lelouch Lamprouge. He wasn't sure who he was anymore. He looked over to see Suzkau, his best friend, no the knight that was to watch him. He didn't have friends. He didn't know Suzkau or did he? How could he? How could he not? 

Suzkau was a knight of round. Knight of seventh. A traitor of the Japanese. Everyone knew him. Even Julius. But Julius knew him personally, or that's what his mind said. His mind screamed that Suzkau was his friend, but his mind wasn't always his and so it could never fully be trusted. Not everything in his head was his. His mind was full of reality and this thing he didn't even know what it was. It seemed real, but Julius knew he hadn't lived that life. He wasn't this man. 

Water. Endless amount of water and yet it wasn't his water. It wasn't the water he sought after. Glasses of water wasn't what he wanted. Rivers, children by rivers he sees in his mind and Julius wants to go there. He wants to go back to there. It isn't him, but he still wants to go there. Because those children are happy. That boy wearing his face, is happy. Suzkau is happy. A girl he knows, but can't place name at the moment is smiling. They are all so happy and Julius wishes to go there because he wants to be happy. Because he wants someone to care about him. Because he is a tool, disposable. He is someone that people see and show fear. They looked at him with astonishment. No one knew him and yet he carried an aura around he that screamed trouble. He looked like danger wrapped in velvet. Sugar coated poison. Cyanide in paradise could even describe him. Julius was beautiful and dangerous. He was tragedy, both in personality and emotionally. He brought tragedy and in his heart he felt tragedy. He killed and wanted to be killed. He saw the sadness he brought and knew that he himself had felt that. It was unplaceable, but he felt it deep down someone close to him had died. Not that he had anyone or he could remember. He had no memory of anything. He didn't remember his childhood, only someone else's. It made him wonder if that child was him. If it was he who sat by that river with suzaku and that girl. If he wasn't him. 

Sunflowers. Yellow and brown with green. Green, like those eyes he loved. Yellow like the sun that never seemed to shine quite as bright as it did in that child mind. The child mind that Julius is starting to see is his and yet it isn't. Because he isn't lelouch, he is Julius. He is a tool and no one cares for him. He isn't the one Suzkau is upset with and yet he pays for it. He isn't the one who hurt suzaku and yet he is treated cruelly. Because he is in the body of, wears the face of, the one who brought this anger. Because he isn't lelouch, Suzkau hates him, he only wants lelouch and yet he kisses back when Julius in a confused state kisses him. Because Julius is part lelouch, lelouch is inside and Suzkau hates that he loves him. Because lelouch is evil and wrong and Suzkau doesn't want to ever be right again and as he lies next to the man being called Julius Kingsley he feels just a hint of guilt. Because lelouch is his best friend and geass was never the answer. Suzkau ran his fingers through Julius's hair, watching the black locks slip through his fingers. It's just like when they were children, near the river, in that sunflower field.


End file.
